I’ve been missing for more than a few months and I feel I owe you an explanation (or maybe I just want to write because it clears my head a little). For almost a year now I have been struggling with on and off depression which is not something I often openly share but I like to think of this as a safe place for my thoughts. Depression is something I never imagined I would ever struggle with and also something I never really understood until it happened to me. It feels as if the life is constantly being drained out of you and sometimes you don’t even have a reason to be sad, you just are. It’s difficult and isn’t something that you can just easily snap out of. College is amazing and wonderful but with all of the joy and fun also comes responsibilities and more stress then you can possibly think (or can if you have ever been to college- sorry i’m being a little dramatic). Anyway- since my last post I have finished my third year of college and started my fourth which has been full of things like making sure all of my credits are in order to graduate, researching grad schools, beginning to prep for the GRE, working to a keep a roof over my head, and on top of all that having a ~little~ bit of free time for myself. It is a lot and I rarely ever get adequate sleep, or eat more than one meal a day if we’re being honest. It has started to take a tole on my body and I feel as if I am being stretched thin with all of my time. I am trying my best to manage everything the best that I can but some days just seem more difficult than others. There have been times where I even question if i’m doing the right thing, or taking the right direction with my life. It is all so confusing and I just want to the best that I can. Every time I get in a funk I try to remind myself of my blessings, why I am in school and what my future aspirations are. I try to remind myself that I am a bad ass bitch and can do anything I put my mind to. I also try to remind myself that I will be the first person in my immediate family to get a college degree which is something I hold very high on my list when trying to motivate myself- I want to make my mom and dad proud.
I know this has all been so random but I wanted to just let you all know why I have been absent lately and that i’m in the works of planning several new posts for you guys and I can’t wait for you to read them! Thank you for all of your love and support.
xoxo, Natalie Rose